Who Am I? A Personal State of the Union Address

Who hasn’t asked this question? At sometime in ones life there comes a point where you either don’t know or have become tripped up on someone else’s understanding of who you are. I turned 41 yesterday. I got letters and calls and it was generally a very uplifting, affirming day for me. But with all the strokes came the question, “How true is all of this?” Who am I really? And am I really doing well with who I am?

When we start questioning who we are…there are several contexts in which we view ourselves. First and foremost – we seem to identify with family. I am a wife to my husband, Mom to three boys. I am a daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, friend, teacher, and praise leader. And in defining who I am each one of these is a huge contribution. But of course there is one role that will shape and guide who I am more than any of these….I am first and foremost a child of God. An expression I have heard and cling to more than any other is – a well-loved daughter of Christ. Now what does this mean about me personally? And how do I deal with all of my eccentricities in MY world of people who I think are very unlike me?

Background…I am a Baptist. I go to a Presbyterian Church – but essentially – though I follow the leading of my very able shepherd and am blessed by my pastor, I am undeniably Baptist. It is what I grew up with and I still believe the picture of Baptism after you become a believer is beautiful and such a wonderful example and confirmation of new life in Christ. There again – is another name for how I define myself. I have been in the past ashamed of my very Baptist beliefs. But maybe with age comes the understanding that fellowship with others does not necessarily mean I have to believe the same as they do. I like fringe, and leopard print and tattoos. I like piercings. I look with longing at the little studs in girls noses. I think that is a very desirable thing. Hubby – different story. In this I bend to please. But were I a single woman…I would have a nose ring. Is this okay? Here again…yet another thing that defines and makes me who I am. Where do I get my rules to live by? I also have many guilty pleasures. Bubble Gum pop. I like N’Sync and New Kids on the Block…absolutely horrifying to my husband. But – that I allow myself to listen to…I see no harm in a little indulgence here. Even I won’t hang out there long!

I guess my question is…not just WHO I am – but if I am OKAY. Does who I believe I am, and Who I want to be and Who I actually am line up? And is God okay with it? I guess that is the most important question. Is God pleased with who I am? Okay…now I am stripping it down.

Does God care about my outer appearance? I think it is safe to say that as long as I am modest and am careful to be more concerned with the state of my heart than how I look that God is fine with how I dress. It truly is a by-product of the personality He has given me. I like that.

Does God care what I listen to? Once again…my time is best used in praising Him…in giving Him the glory he created me to give Him. I will be the first to say that as far as television is concerned that I need to be much more careful about what I allow myself to watch and hear. My music - the same thing. As hard as it is for me to give up some of my music – they are in some cases absolutely things that need to be left out. The question becomes “To what degree? I have to leave that to my conscience. When the words are sacrilegious it should sicken me…if it does not then I should question my relationship with my heavenly Father. Even immoral lyrics should give me pause…God give me strength and a desire to leave these worldly things behind. The only way I will grow and become holy and take on the features and attributes of my heavenly Father is to recognize the things that are not to His glory and weed them out.

How avid a follower of Christ am I willing to be? How attached to this world am I truly? How do I reconcile the things I love and love to be with who God loves and what He wants me to be. The answer: Walking day by day knowing that I am His child and I am a reflection to those here on earth of my heavenly Father. Prayer and His Word and living them are how I do it. The reflection may change daily – hopefully will - since I am constantly becoming more like Him through the process of sanctification.

Who am I? And am I pleased with her? I am a child of God. A well loved daughter of Christ. I am who God made me…I love to eat (to a distressing degree), I love music, I love people, I am flawed but loved by my Heavenly Father. I am a Trophy of Grace (to use a term I just heard Sunday from my pastor) and I want to be worthy of that term by being found faithful. I want my desire to serve and please my Father to overflow to those He has given me to care for: My Husband, my children, my family, my friends, my students. And my success will be slow coming and painstaking. But I commit to it. Am I pleased with who I am? Well…depends on when you ask me…and I see that this is not a good question…because ultimately the answer to that question will never be satisfactory until I am made perfect by being with my Lord and Savior, my heavenly Father. The better question will ALWAYS be, “Is God pleased with me?” A question truly to live by.