I see myself as Jell-O.
I have a love-hate thing about this movie. I hate it, because I wanted Julianne to get the guy (I mean really who wouldn't want to get Dermont Mulroney?). But I loved that the movie didn't let her. Kimmy was - well - let's just look at this quote:
"She's annoyingly perfect and when I say that I mean there is nothing annoying about her perfection, it is vulnerable and endearing, and THAT is annoying as shit. If I didn't hate her I'd adore her."
Kimmy was willing to be so open. And she was kind. Truly kind. Of course she didn't like that Julianne was so close to Michael, and rightfully so. But for Michael's sake, she was going to overlook the past relationship and accept her as a part of Michael's life. Let's not get into how dangerous that could be down the road - but look at her heart. She was everything that quote says and it is absolutely annoying as shit (sorry -I had to borrow from the quote :P).
I have always been the rumpled, creative, seat of my pants kind of girl. I live and die by my emotions and feelings and it gets me into so much trouble. So while I am rooting for Julianne and totally get where she is coming from, she breaks my heart, because I see myself in her. Pursue what you want to the death. Thank goodness for her she did not get what she set out to get. She would have been miserable. Getting what you want is not always a good thing.
The movie actually has a happy ending.
Towards the end there is a scene that shows Julianne toasting Michael and Kimmy.
Heart breaking and such a perfect ending.
Bittersweet. And to me, that is what makes it so yummy.
Lately I have had an urge to let everyone know that I know I am a complete doofus most of the time. I want them to know that it is not something I am totally unaware of. I want to sit down and write a story about my life...about every stupid thing I did and how sorry I am for it. When I look back at all of the things I have done - whether good intentions gone wrong or just me being mule-headed and going for it in spite of it all...I have many regrets....things I wish I would have done differently. My poor parents...they are exhausted because of all my shenanigans.
Regardless of what has happened in the past, I hope those that know me understand, that I will work to love every moment of my life - both good and bad, because it has brought me here. I am blessed beyond belief. This morning anyway - I think I understand how blessed I am. I see how my parents love me beyond well. Every spot on my carpet that drives me insane most days - well today - they are a reminder of three precious boys that are growing much too fast. The crowded garage that I mean to organize and all the furniture I mean to refinish in it - are a reminder of how much we have and how God has blessed me with a husband that provides for me and loves me in spite of me. And I feel I am the best version of myself so far. Today. (I will feel differently tomorrow - thank goodness for the occasional "todays"). And God willing it will only get better as he completes his work in me. I pin my hopes on this verse.
Thankfully - most people do not think near as much about me as I think about myself. I have had so many awkward moments, the majority of my life could be a cautionary tale - but how wonderful to realize that I have such riches in spite of it all.
Life is not like a movie. Not nearly as neat. But I have hope for the future so I can get through today - with grace and love for others. It is more than so many have. I have hope that GOD will bring others to the same place, regardless of their situation.
Contentment. Thankful for it today.