Overwhelmed

[original posting August 2016]

So the summer - not the heat and the sun - but the fun of freedom and the knowledge that you can sleep late if you want to...well that is all coming to an end. School starts for me next week.

The blessing of knowing I love what I do, where I work and the people I work with is a comfort. So I am happy to go back. But I also mourn the idea of what I wanted to happen didn't really happen.

I wanted to accomplish SO much more.

But of course life, being what it is - things happened that caused some detours. But all in all it was a good summer. I think part of the problem is I am trying to learn how to break the list of things down in my head. I am 50. I should already know how to do that right?
My list is absolutely overwhelming. And instead of compartmentalizing and breaking it down in to doable moments, the myriad of things to do fly through my brain in the early morning hours and cause me to want to disconnect.  If I don't find a way to refocus and funnel those thoughts through a filter that allows me to focus, I end up watching TV or getting on Facebook.

That will not do.

So I make lists of everything I need to do. In the morning I have learned to take the list and break it down to things I can accomplish that day. I place them in my Reminders for the day (in my iPhone). My reminder comes up at about 8:00. I then check off what I got done. It is highly satisfying.

Also - did you know that exercise helps you focus better? It can take care of some of this adult onset ADD I have acquired here in my 2nd half century.



I have found that planning - as much as I hate it - helps me be a much more productive person. That means planning meals, planning my exercise, planning my activities for the day.

This also helps me with depression. This is nothing new. Exercise, nutrition and being fairly organized can help me manage my depression very well.

I do give myself a day off.  Sundays are off the table. I go to church, worship with my brothers and sisters - my fellow body of believers and I make lunch. The rest of the day is mine. I can lay on the couch and watch old movies or whatever. I have asked my 4 boys to let me have this day. They have kindly agreed.

I would love ideas to help me stay on track. What do you do to keep from being inundated by the dailies?

Fast and Furious - Slow and Easy...

I think part of my problem is when things go fast I spend all my energies on keeping up and tend to fail in important areas. I skimp on my T.A.W.G. (Time alone with God) and I don't eat well. I just do better when I slow down. 

The thing I have learned over the last month is that I do have to manage

my time well when I am cooking Paleo. But I have enjoyed the process of thoughtful eating. I love the chopping and creative replacement that eating Paleo brings. It is a slower and a nice reflective

time for me as I gather the ingredients and chop the vegetables. I know this is hard when you have little ones. Impossible even.  

I read a book by Claire Cloninger over 20 years ago called, A Place Called Simplicity. It was something I longed for even then. Living simply. It is actually something you have to work at. It is a wonderfully inspiring read. 

And the fact is there are seasons of simplicity. One of those seasons for me was when the boys were babies...I said no a lot - just because it was harder to do things with two babies. But it slowed time down and my memories are of a unhurried and wonderfully simple time enjoying those baby boys. 

There are things you have to learn to say no to in order to simplify. And "no" is a hard thing for a people pleaser. But it gets easier the more you do it. I think coming to a place where you realize you can't do everything is a good starting place. Realizing you can't please everyone is the next step. Understanding that folks are more gracious than we give them credit for also makes the process of simplifying easier. Dumping the guilt of choosing carefully and denying help at school, at church, or wherever is also a must. 

I am not saying drop out of life. Help where you are led but don't be afraid to step back when your dance card is full. And of course there are seasons where no matter how intentional you are you are meeting yourself coming and going. That happens. Can't always be controlled. But it is also why you want to be nutritionally sound and grounded in the Word And prayer. 

Regardless of how you choose to live, fast and furious or slow and easy, you must see to your spiritual, mental and physical health to be the best you can be. 

God bless and keep you on your journey. 

The Dreamer and The Doer

I have a lot more of the dreamer in me. I have these amazing ideas and they always are just there...right before me ever out of reach. I go for them every once in a while but for whatever reason life gets in the way.

That is my fault.

It shouldn't happen that way. I posted this on Facebook 6 years ago:

Pajama Mama is my website. It is a beginning place for so many of my desires. My desire to serve the Lord, to be with my children at home and to help my community and other women like me who just need to find a way to supplement their income so they can do what they love best - take care of their family!

And I never really got anywhere with it.

But over the last few months I have felt a definite prodding to move forward. But I always had an excuse. My excuses ran the gamut: I don't have time, I don't feel good, I am too busy doing for everyone else, I don't have the money. And I allowed myself to become bogged down in the I don'ts and I can'ts and foundered.

I have started almost every January saying the same thing. I have an idea. I am going to see it through. This year I will see God bless this.

But I did not follow through. My faith was weak. And I would lose sight of my dream before the year was halfway through.

This year some interesting things happened.

My two year renewal of Pajamamama.net came around again and they renewed it with some added benefits that they didn't have before. So...I got that without really trying! Ha!

And I had a friend I had previously done contract work with at Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Alabama invite me to try something that I was somewhat skeptical about. I am a HORRIBLE sales person. She will tell you that I am not. But - I am. I do not like pressuring people. And even when I am not pressuring people, I feel like I am pressuring people. BUT - the thing is, if I want to be healthy, and I want my family to be healthy, then I am going to live it out. If I care about others - it is much like my faith - I am going to share it. Some way. Some how. It will overflow from the excess of my living it out.

IT WILL OVERFLOW FROM THE EXCESS OF MY LIVING IT OUT.

So...I share my faith. I share how I live. Not to pressure anyone. But to encourage other's who are like me and struggle on a daily basis to live out their convictions. Whatever they may be.

For me, it is to serve God first. To take care of my family and to serve others well. This can only be accomplished when I take care of myself. And I am not talking about excessive pampering. I am talking about reading God's word, praying - talking to God and eating right - exercising. These are the things that help me serve God, family and others best. This will only help my job at school and give me the energy to create and do when I get home.

And I have stepped out further than I ever have before. I have been eating paleo for a month now. I have been exercising daily and I have more energy and my attitude has absolutely changed. I thought I would never quit drinking my Cokes...but I have. It's amazing. I don't even crave it.

Now that is not so much from drinking anything or being on any particular diet, Of course ultimately it is that...but for those who are like me (not very self motivated), it takes more than that. It had more to do with someone who held out a helping hand and encouraged me. Even when I looked past her helping hand, she would stay in touch and ask me how I was doing. Accountability - haven't I talked about that before? Well...it is a good thing. A must for changing one's lifestyle.

I have been using BeachBody products for years, but they never did me any good until I had the accountability. So I now am a BeachBody coach. I love the shakes and I have been dancing. Anyone who knows me well knows I love to dance, So Shaun T has been taking me through the moves every morning with CIZE and it starts my day with a smile. I think you should do what you love. I don't love to exercise...I do love to dance. It really doesn't feel like exercise at all.

But the eating right and moving more is working. My goal now is to encourage other's to do the same thing. I want to help them act on their dreams too.

I think you should do the thing that works. I have tried other things and they did not work for me. What I love about Shakeology is the fact that it combines one meal...with my probiotics, and vitamins. It is a dense nutritional shake.  A yummy one at that. I didn't get this with the other things I tried. It is a much more affordable option to nutrition and weight loss.

I hope you will check in with me every once in a while. This blog will not be all about BeachBody. But I will share occasionally how that is going.

God Bless and Keep YOU ALL!