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Monday, October 10, 2011

Relief

Last week was a disaster. The more I tried to "handle" the situation, the worse it got. I gave a nod to God and proceeded to handle the situation as I saw fit.

Yeah...that just did NOT work.

Serious disaster. Horrible week. Longing for heaven. Seriously.

But -

I made a bad situation worse. I SAID that I had my head screwed on, and that God was in control. But apparently my need to feel in control and vindicated for my annoyances...was NOT God's best for me. I ate humble pie. And in large doses.

I am not the point. Never have been, never will be.

So I will go back, I will bow my head and praise God for the blessings I count so numerous in my life. My job included. The people I work with VERY much included and praise God - that he loves me enough to cause me to kneel. To understand that this life is not about me. That my day to day situations make me better. Make me stronger and make me more like my merciful and loving Savior.

I...am not wise. I...am not strong....I am not able to finish anything.

But my God can cause me to be wise. He can give me strength. And He can finish the work he has begun in me.

Whenever I get too cocky, I can guarantee that my own "cleverness" will be my downfall. He is to be exalted in all things and success as I see it is not his end goal for me. When I become mean, and start to elbow my way up...I can guarantee you I will fall on my ass. Thank God He loves me enough to give me the relief I truly long for.

It is not up to me. PRAISE GOD!

He is enough. Not this job. Not this house. Not this salary. My sweetness, my efforts, my continuous struggles...will not suffice.

He - my God - and only He. He is sufficient.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

What a relief.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Reconciled

As you know, I love words. Think they are the greatest invention EVER. So I have a new favorite today. Once again I woke up and asked God to help me with my attitude. To be happy, to be humble, to remember that my goals are not the same as everyone elses. That it is okay to reset my own standards and values not to be in line with normal thinking. I actually love that.

But as I was driving to work I allowed myself to wander into the realm of the "unappreciated". Never a good place to go. Does no one any good whatsoever. Yet there I am wallering in it -  applying it to traffic for Pete's sake. I got in the right lane to turn as traffic started backing up and every car that zipped past me and put their right blinker on to get ahead of me made me angrier. "It's not fair" kept repeating in my head.

And the next thing out of my mouth was I will just have to reconcile myself to not getting ahead in this life. It's just not going to happen because my standards are different. Something that should be good suddenly sounded bad. My competitive nature (very much a worldly thing) was getting the best of me.

Reconcile.

rec·on·cile   /ˈrɛkənˌsaɪl/ Show Spelled [rek-uhn-sahyl] Show IPA verb, -ciled, -cil·ing.


verb (used with object)

1. to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired: He was reconciled to his fate.

2. to win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable: to reconcile hostile persons.

3. to compose or settle (a quarrel, dispute, etc.).

4. to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible or consistent: to reconcile differing statements; to reconcile accounts.

5. to reconsecrate (a desecrated church, cemetery, etc.).

How funny that this word has such a vast mood swing. Basically the same meaning - but the heart of the word can be placed in two different places. To accept something not desired - resigned. Or to bring into harmony - which sounds infinitely happier to me.
 
So I have a choice.
 
This whole thing actually reminded me of Joseph when he was sold into slavery by his brothers. A wicked and horrible happening in the world's eyes. Certainly much worse than what I am presently dealing with in my own life, but never the less...the same thinking can apply. Joseph never gave up. He never turned his back on what he knew to be God's intended use of him. He put his hand to what was before him and he did it well.
 
If Joseph had allowed the first definition to define his attitude, there would have been a fatalistic sadness that could have caused him to just exist in the situation he was in. But because he accepted his fate with gladness and in doing so became better while in his lowly state. He chose to bring it into agreement with his difficult circumstances. There was harmony in the fact that he knew God had placed him there for a purpose.
 
Genesis 50:19 - 21
19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.


What a great attitude. So - today - I will again adjust my attitude to be in harmony with what God has placed before me. And I will do it to the best of my ability.

I am reconciled. But harmoniously - for now. And will probably have to do it all over again tomorrow...

As my pastor says, "Preaching the Gospel to myself" - e-ver-y day.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Fall

What an amazing weekend. Beautiful weather. Cool nights and temperate days. I got my mums out on the porch and my punkins' put out. My fall wall plaque and flag. The wrought iron Jack O' Lanterns and a stack of apples in a white ruffle bowl on the table.

I love fall. I was looking at the ridge of Oak Mountain and thinking about how these cool nights  bring such beautiful color to to it. I can't wait to sit and enjoy the view as I watch my boy play fall ball.

How blessed I am to be able to count these things as the extra happy's that fill my life.

Psalm 16:5-7
5 LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup;

you make my lot secure.

6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

surely I have a delightful inheritance.

7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

My heart instructs me that I have much to be thankful for. I am praying for focus and the ability to accomplish all I need to today. Serving the Lord in all I say and do, loving others well and letting go of what I cannot get accomplished.

Happy Fall Friends!