I woke up this morning to exercise (4:50am-ugh). My thoughts immediately went to what I wanted for my day. My prayer immediately was "Let me give this day to you Lord...I dedicate all I do and say to you, make me holy and happy."
This is progress - though I struggle with whether I can actually accomplish this at all. My normal prayer is more along the lines of "help me get this, this and this done and not to do this.."etc. This prayer did not include my to do list or do not do list. It strictly asked the Lord to help me give my day to him and to make me holy and happy. Upon reflection - I really like this prayer...it has nothing to do with my issues of accomplishment - strictly with my posture before the Lord. Of course my doubts immediately started in on me. But another thing that was pretty amazing happened. I was encouraged rather than discouraged. I immediately remembered things I did the day before that I needed to get right.
I have had to offer control of several things back to my husband. I took them over and they have become sources of sin for me. My desire to control and even to conceal things to keep things easy here at home. Not good. Not godly. I had to go before my husband and confess them and I had to ask him to forgive me. Nasty. Embarrassing. And I have really struggled with repentance of some things and have rebelled when they are brought to my attention...by the Lord or anyone!
So yesterday when Andy told me I needed to put some money in our savings I immediately rebelled. I argued with him and tried to give him reasons why we couldn't this pay period. We have overspent our budget already in a couple of areas (Superbowl weekend - you know one area! GROCERIES). He became agitated with me. Rightfully so. I let it pass and moved on. But this morning as I was getting dressed it came back. I owe him an apology. I need to do what he asks me to and apologize for giving something to him and then immediately trying to take it back and control it again.
Ladies - to me this was an answer to my first prayer this morning. Make me holy. I had to confess that sin and then I had to ask Andy to forgive me. But what has REALLY, REALLY made my morning is the fact that instead of being burdened and rebellious about my realization of wrong and need to repent, I was freed - my heart was lighter and I am HAPPIER. Both requests - bam, bam - answered.
Now I am pretty sure it will not always be this way...but quite honestly - today - I could not have asked for a better way to start my day. I pray that I do remember the act of confession and repentance actually draws me closer to my Lord and not become angry that I am having to do it. This also tells me the status of my heart and is an encouragement to know that I am willing right now. I pray that God will continue to help me be so.
2 Peter 3:9The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
This is progress - though I struggle with whether I can actually accomplish this at all. My normal prayer is more along the lines of "help me get this, this and this done and not to do this.."etc. This prayer did not include my to do list or do not do list. It strictly asked the Lord to help me give my day to him and to make me holy and happy. Upon reflection - I really like this prayer...it has nothing to do with my issues of accomplishment - strictly with my posture before the Lord. Of course my doubts immediately started in on me. But another thing that was pretty amazing happened. I was encouraged rather than discouraged. I immediately remembered things I did the day before that I needed to get right.
I have had to offer control of several things back to my husband. I took them over and they have become sources of sin for me. My desire to control and even to conceal things to keep things easy here at home. Not good. Not godly. I had to go before my husband and confess them and I had to ask him to forgive me. Nasty. Embarrassing. And I have really struggled with repentance of some things and have rebelled when they are brought to my attention...by the Lord or anyone!
So yesterday when Andy told me I needed to put some money in our savings I immediately rebelled. I argued with him and tried to give him reasons why we couldn't this pay period. We have overspent our budget already in a couple of areas (Superbowl weekend - you know one area! GROCERIES). He became agitated with me. Rightfully so. I let it pass and moved on. But this morning as I was getting dressed it came back. I owe him an apology. I need to do what he asks me to and apologize for giving something to him and then immediately trying to take it back and control it again.
Ladies - to me this was an answer to my first prayer this morning. Make me holy. I had to confess that sin and then I had to ask Andy to forgive me. But what has REALLY, REALLY made my morning is the fact that instead of being burdened and rebellious about my realization of wrong and need to repent, I was freed - my heart was lighter and I am HAPPIER. Both requests - bam, bam - answered.
Now I am pretty sure it will not always be this way...but quite honestly - today - I could not have asked for a better way to start my day. I pray that I do remember the act of confession and repentance actually draws me closer to my Lord and not become angry that I am having to do it. This also tells me the status of my heart and is an encouragement to know that I am willing right now. I pray that God will continue to help me be so.
2 Peter 3:9The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
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Let me know what you think and how you deal with things. I am always looking to do things better!