The dailiness of everything, ways to create and cope, help and heal, learn and live!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Oh how the years, months, days, minutes, seconds....go by


I was talking to a co-worker yesterday and I made a comment about how fast the week was going. She replied, "That's good isn't it?" I think I made some half hearted comment agreeing with her, but in truth, I really don't want it to go by quickly.

I find myself saying things all the time about how glad I am it's 4:00pm or that it's Thursday - but I don't really mean that. Instead I want to enjoy every minute. Or at least appreciate every minute.

It seems that only yesterday I was kissing those sweet baby cheeks of my boys and holding them here at home...and it doesn't do for me to dwell on those days, because I find myself spiraling downward into that funk I seem to get stuck in so often. I miss those days. As frustrating as they may have been, I don't remember that. I remember how content I was. I would like to look back on these days and feel the same way...but I want to make them the best days they can possibly be. I don't want to look back on them and be sorry I didn't redeem the time better. I can't be sorry for where I am right now. God has placed us in this position for a reason. I feel sure of that.

So, my question is, how can I make my few hours at home with my boys each evening the absolute best they can be? Having to work around dinner, football, chores and such and then that precious hour or two where I can just enjoy my sweet boys and husband?

I am asking God to give me wisdom, and discernment. I need the energy to get the things done that I need to, and I need the wisdom to know when to stop and focus on the important things. Looking back and wishing things were different is not going to make it better.

Taking the time out to plan my day and do my best to get to what matters most is my goal. And what matters most is honoring God with my time...living that before my boys, placing it all before the housework and whatever other thing I think defines me (clean house, clean car, neat yard, neat kids (HA)...), because really - it doesn't matter.

Ecclesiastes 1:

2 "Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."

3 What does man gain from all his labor
at which he toils under the sun?

4 Generations come and generations go,
but the earth remains forever.

5 The sun rises and the sun sets,
and hurries back to where it rises.

6 The wind blows to the south
and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
ever returning on its course.

7 All streams flow into the sea,
yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
there they return again.

8 All things are wearisome,
more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
nor the ear its fill of hearing.

9 What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.

10 Is there anything of which one can say,
"Look! This is something new"?
It was here already, long ago;
it was here before our time.

11 There is no remembrance of men of old,
and even those who are yet to come
will not be remembered
by those who follow


And I could bemoan this text and wallow in it and let it sooth me that it all meant nothing...

But I choose to see it as someone who allowed himself to lose sight of the important things. To learn from it and realize that all of these things that I have wanted in the past (clean house, clean car, neat yard, neat kids...(HA) ) really meant nothing. I loved those days of being home and my work being all about my home. And thought they were wonderful - the times that counted were the ones I was investing myself in friends, and in my family. Those days that I sought the face of God and passed some small grain of wisdom that has or will one day take root in their lives. And that is not over just because I am working full time. It can still be accomplished. I just have to keep my sight right.

Oh how the years go by....all of those increments of time - like sand through my fingers...but I am determined that I will continue to hitch up my britches and thumb my nose at those things that would keep me from living rightly before God. Keep on. But keep on always remembering and aiming for what matters most. It's a good question to ask.

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