Thoughts

Heaven is not a vacation resort. It is where redeemed human beings will manifest the potential and destiny for which they were created--to the glory of God. -- David Jeremiah.


I have thought and thought......and thought and thought and thought about this quote.

I am absolutely ashamed to say that I have doubted there is a God to glorify....a lot lately. It seems my selfishness and my inability to process the blessings that my life has been filled with and continues to be filled with has caused my faith to falter. I cannot go to church without crying the whole time.

And the fact is - I would love to expound upon the list of woes that make me doubt that there is a God, and that if there is, that he loves me. But upon reflection - it is a trite list. It is full of embarrassing comparisons and absolutely brings me to the end of me. And at the end of me every time...there is still something there...it is tiny. Tiny. And I do not always recognize it. I mostly have shrugged my shoulders and moved on for the time.

But I finally realized what it was.

Faith. My hope in the faith that has been given me, is what keeps me going. This tiny mustard sized grain is not of my doing. If it was, I am pretty sure I would have destroyed it.

Matthew 17:20

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

My mountain is obviously this life that has been given me. It is a blessing. I do believe that. And though it is exceedingly difficult (for me) at times, I pray God will continue to let me see that tiny seed of faith grow. I pray that this person that I have allowed myself to become - will be stronger, will be grateful, will be thoughtful, will put her trust in God...even when things get hard. I do not want to live in fear of the next bad thing. I want to live in freedom...freedom from the fear that clips my wings and strands me in such a low place.

2 Corinthians 3:17
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

...Freedom will have to have it's own blog spot....but I am looking forward to writing about it.