Homesickness

We were packed up, I was so excited. Everything I needed was in a truck and in my suitcases and I was going away to college. I could not believe it. It was not what I had planned initially. I was happy going to school there in my hometown. But, God had opened a door and I was adventurous enough at that time to walk through it. I hugged my mom and my dad and my little brother goodbye. The impact of what I was doing had not yet hit me.

Three days later...it did. My roommate had a job. I was alone. I cleaned the apartment. I went to the grocery store. I rolled around that little apartment like a marble in a refrigerator box. Then I cried. I wanted my Mama. I wanted my Daddy. I wanted my little brother. I wanted my bed, I wanted my friends. I was so sad. It was an acute, painful longing and a horrible realization that I had made a big mistake.

My mother, being the wise woman that she is, told me to go somewhere where there were people. She told me to find the local church, the Baptist Student Union, somewhere and serve. Work. She said I would feel better and it would get better soon. So, knowing my Mama would never steer me wrong. I got me up, washed my face, and grabbed my bike. Up I rode to the Baptist Student Union. It took a lot of internal fortitude for me to do this (thank you Lord!), but I walked in, asked someone what I could do to help and started working.

Mama was right. I was immediately better. I found friends. My mind was busy, and though I still missed home, the work my hands found and the friends I found soothed that homesickness.

I am homesick now. I find myself longing for my eternal home quite a bit. But I know where I am is no mistake. I know that I have a purpose here on this earth and the only thing I can do to assuage the ache of missing my eternal place is working for the coming kingdom.

Last week I had the happiest week I have had in quite some time. The reason? I was working. Not my job, but getting ready for the Outreach conference at Church and baking and organizing a bake sale so that we could donate the proceeds to Haiti. I have found the mundanities of this life, like cleaning my home, which always gets dirty again, and trying to find additional work, to help with our income, is quite depressing. But my focus being on helping others last week made for a light and happy heart.

I cannot take up every need I see. In spite of the dislike I have of cleaning my home and looking for additional work, they are a necessity. I thought that since I was working outside of the home that by cutting all the extra things i had done in the past out, that it would make it easier to have that job. But I have found I need to find those little projects to work on in order to give me a little uplift. Apparently that kind of service is a joy to me, one I have missed sorely.

So, to assuage the homesickness, I will find work...get my hands busy with building the unshakeable kingdom. I will find today what God will for my hand to do. It will be like packing my bags to go home.

Matthew 6:32-34
32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.