What I have learned this summer...

I have learned a lot this summer.

I have learned -again- that I am indeed a sinner that is prone to wander no matter the circumstances. It is exhausting when I try to live in my own strength. I just cannot do it. Well...graciously...really - it's just a train wreck.

I have learned that my best feature is my faith. Believe it or not - though my faith is weak - I tend to believe things that many doubt. This faith that is given to me, and to every human on this earth is a gift from God.  My faith has been placed in many wrong things over the years, causing me to falter and fall. I have placed my faith in friends, money, my own abilities - and every single one of those things have let me down at one point or another. I have let it cause me to be bitter and drag around a burden that was not meant for me to carry.

God has something better.

I have learned that my boys - all three of them - in spite of me, have grown into young men that I am incredibly proud of. How did this happen? The grace of God. There is nothing in me that can make these boys be what they need to be. Can I help? Yes. And I should. Am I perfect? Sadly no. But if you read all of the articles that are posted on Facebook and circulating the web, you would think it was all up to us and the amount of TV and sugar and devices we do or don't let our kids indulge in. But it is not.

Of course there are things we need to do to raise our children well and we try to give them the tools they need to be successful. In the end though my trust has to be in God and not in anything I can give them. They are a work of the divine hand of God working through me to make them what He needs them to be.

I have learned that kids are kids. They are not always a reflection of what I am, or what I have taught them...and yet - they are. One of the most encouraging things I have come to understand over the years is that kids will grow out of the stupid things they say. The first set of students I discipled said and did some stupid things sometimes. I didn't worry about it at the time - #1 they weren't my children #2 I was also very young. But I heard adults that were leaders in the church say some things that I found wounded me, and would certainly hurt these kids we worked so hard to support in their journey to know God. What I have come to understand as an adult is that I cannot allow myself to think less of these kids because of what they say now. I have thought the same things as an adult about my own children, and other students I work with, that if voiced out loud could be hurtful. But God has allowed me to see those kids I disciple 20 + years ago that said stupid things, grow up into amazing adults that have poured themselves into other students and their own children  - full of the GRACE of God. These kids I work with at the high school now (my own babies included) will grow up and start doing and saying stupid things less. I say less because I still say and do stupid things. I will not judge. When I think, "What a bonehead", I immediately follow it up with, "thank God they will grow out of it". And I mean it. And most of them will - due to God's grace and maybe even God's grace through me - so it causes me to "not grow weary in well doing" (Gal. 6:9).

I have learned that I can trust God each day to take care of my needs. When I purposefully make the decision to...and I have to do it minute by minute on some days, because my control fer-REAK ways want to run in and do what I think is best. God has protected me from myself...sometimes in ways that actually scared me more for a night as I wrestled over why this way wouldn't work. I woke up with faith that GOD had this. I had been given the solution to my worries and that was to trust God day by day, moment by moment.

And I will need this. I will have to remind myself of this - over and over again this year because...I have twin boys that are seniors and they are uncertain where they want to go. And I want to know now. I want the finances ironed out now and I want not to have to think about it anymore.

But that is not how God has chosen to work this scenario out...so wait I must.

Isaiah 40:31 [Full Chapter]

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

I am counting on this. 

Independence

So coming up on Independence Day 2017 I have been thinking.

Independence is a glorious thing. Our nation is founded on a rich history of a people who desired to be independent and make a nation based on freedom. I love the 4th of July. I find that it causes me to value my freedom even more. We are a blessed nation. Sadly, many times

we do not realize it. Our freedoms cause us to distance ourselves instead of being bound together through our patriotism. We have become a nation divided by our points of view, thinking that our own opinion means more than someone else's.

So sad. Heartbreaking. We are a people that should be united through our diversity. It is what makes this country unique.

But - that kind of freedom is not what I am thinking of this morning.

My own independence is what I am thinking about. I am a stubborn little so and so when it comes to doing it my way. I am like a two year old - I want to do it all by myself.

My struggle for independence will continually be a sin I have to ask forgiveness for.

It comes from a heart that doesn't fully comprehend how bad I really am. My stance before Christ is generally one of - "I got this". It makes me feel accomplished. Whole. Invincible. Proud of my abilities. I am woman, hear me roar and all that stuff.

I have a thing - probably deep in my genes - the desire of my forefathers to be self-sustaining. I think the reason I love The Walking Dead so much is how they have to become self-sustaining in a world that no longer has rules. Or grocery stores. I love the ingenuity the end of times seems to bring out in people. Thank the LORD that it is just a show though.

I have issues. I admit it.

When I look back at the many times I have taken on things and done them without relying on my Heavenly Father, I can see how I made a mess of things. I do have regrets - and yet - I will always revert back to "I GOT THIS".

I am a fool.

I desperately want to be the best I can be because of me. I don't want to rely on God. Or my husband. Or anyone. I want to be fulfilled through the brilliance of me. Sadly, I cannot be what I need to be. I have proven, as I said before, time and time again that my own decision making paradigm is sadly off kilter.

My own accomplishments are better seated when built on the foundation of Christ and His wisdom. So this is a battle I will fight the rest of my life. I will wake up, ask God to give me the strength to depend on Him and to rely on His leading. Will I do it every day? Nope. Will I try? Yes! I will continue to build those faith muscles by continuing to turn my eyes on Jesus.

Otherwise I am doomed to one big, bad conundrum after another.

And no one wants that.

Happy Independence Day! ;)

PSALM 25
¹ In you, Lord my God,
    I put my trust.

² I trust in you;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    nor let my enemies triumph over me.
³ No one who hopes in you
    will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
    who are treacherous without cause.

Overwhelmed

[original posting August 2016]

So the summer - not the heat and the sun - but the fun of freedom and the knowledge that you can sleep late if you want to...well that is all coming to an end. School starts for me next week.

The blessing of knowing I love what I do, where I work and the people I work with is a comfort. So I am happy to go back. But I also mourn the idea of what I wanted to happen didn't really happen.

I wanted to accomplish SO much more.

But of course life, being what it is - things happened that caused some detours. But all in all it was a good summer. I think part of the problem is I am trying to learn how to break the list of things down in my head. I am 50. I should already know how to do that right?
My list is absolutely overwhelming. And instead of compartmentalizing and breaking it down in to doable moments, the myriad of things to do fly through my brain in the early morning hours and cause me to want to disconnect.  If I don't find a way to refocus and funnel those thoughts through a filter that allows me to focus, I end up watching TV or getting on Facebook.

That will not do.

So I make lists of everything I need to do. In the morning I have learned to take the list and break it down to things I can accomplish that day. I place them in my Reminders for the day (in my iPhone). My reminder comes up at about 8:00. I then check off what I got done. It is highly satisfying.

Also - did you know that exercise helps you focus better? It can take care of some of this adult onset ADD I have acquired here in my 2nd half century.



I have found that planning - as much as I hate it - helps me be a much more productive person. That means planning meals, planning my exercise, planning my activities for the day.

This also helps me with depression. This is nothing new. Exercise, nutrition and being fairly organized can help me manage my depression very well.

I do give myself a day off.  Sundays are off the table. I go to church, worship with my brothers and sisters - my fellow body of believers and I make lunch. The rest of the day is mine. I can lay on the couch and watch old movies or whatever. I have asked my 4 boys to let me have this day. They have kindly agreed.

I would love ideas to help me stay on track. What do you do to keep from being inundated by the dailies?

I only thought I was laid back....

Not so much. I have a deep seated need to

CONTROL THINGS

I am a control freak. I want to keep it all under my thumb. And I find that I am under major stress when I cannot do so. And the inner turmoil overflows and goes out to anyone who crosses my path. This is not the pretty me. This is the needy, whiny, annoying me. I do not like that particular part of me. I have been a closet control freak up until the last year.

It has gotten so much worse.

Example: A few weeks ago my boys had MPA's (music assessments) that they missed a half a day for. That night they went to Disney with the band and missed Thursday and Friday of school, got home Sunday morning at 6:00 AM and had to go to the school's musical practice which would open the following Friday night. They had practice every night from 3:30 - 9:30. They were tired. They were overwhelmed with work they had missed. They have 2 AP courses a piece plus honor band weekends coming up...and another ACT test. Not to mention it was the end of the quarter and one of them had a letter grade I cannot even say out loud. And to those of you who read this who were part of it - and heard my freakish tirades - please forgive me.

I was a mess. Of course I was sorry for them. This is too much for them to bear! Mama was going crazy. I voiced my fears to the assistant principal. Then to the band director. And pretty much to everyone who would listen to me. I was about to have a nervous breakdown. I wanted to fix it all. Give them more time. Move the musical (ha - as if). I wanted to blame people. It was all so unfair!

I had sound advice. This is good for them. Great life lesson. Life will be packed and they will have to put their nose to the grind stone and slug it out...yes - I heard it all. I felt I knew these things, but it didn't help. I was a wreck that week.

They did great. Yes it was hard. Yes they were exhausted. They recovered. All that energy I spent - the angst. Not to mention making myself look like a blooming idiot to all of the people I admired and respected. So ridiculous!

Oh well.

Lesson learned.

It was good for them. They managed just fine and I came through - somewhat smarter for the experience.

Since then, upon occasion I have reflected on my maniacal behavior. I have never considered myself a control freak. I am not a helicopter mom. I tend to be fairly laid back. That has all changed lately. I would like to say it is menopause. But though I understand that can in fact make you crazy, I do not believe that is what is happening here.

This may seem like a digression - but stay with me - I have a point

I see the Pampers commercials. The one where the mom is holding her newborn and kissing those sweet little rosebud lips and so emotional - the sweet feet and hands. I tear up. Every time. That is by far my favorite era of life so far. Being home with my babies. I poured myself into them. I loved them so well. And they loved me well. It is my favorite job to date. If I could go do it all again I would: the all night up with gas, the weaning from passies, the potty training. I would gladly go back and do it all again. I would fight harder to stay home with my youngest. I missed a lot of those moments in having to start work. But all of that to say my little world was safe. I controlled it. I tried going out with girlfriends initially, but with the feeding of the tiny two, and being they were in fact - tatty babies - and would not take the bottle - yep - all on me - the control freakishness was there - I just didn't define it that way. They woke up at 5:30AM went back down for nap at 8:00AM woke up for lunch and play time 10:30 - 11ish and then went back down at 2:00PM - slept until around 4:00 woke up for dinner and playtime with daddy and back down at 7:30PM. And that is probably why I would go back and do it all over. They were such good sleepers! They were so funny! But I protected that world. I knew it was just a short period of time I would have them that way. I loved every minute of it. Now anyway. It was so worth all the hard things.

As they have gotten older it was not too terribly bad up until the last couple of years. Their friends I didn't know the moms of, having to make decisions on whether to let them go do things that were new. And then when they all started driving I noticed a new cray cray feeling going on inside of me. I no longer entered into the equation once they left the house. It was all on them. What I had poured into them I had to trust was going to keep them safe while they were out. When they started dating (oh Dear Lord help me - and He does), I had to put their hearts in my Father's hands. And it happened, a broken heart. And he lived. He thrived - amazingly enough - with very little of my input. I prayed as they left that every cautionary tale and life lesson would prick their consciences when they left in that car.

Excruciating.

And things happened to their friends. One died in a car accident coming home late one night. So many things that I pray over. And over. And over. Keep them safe. Bring them home to me.

Deep breath. I read the blog about putting the basket in the water. I know the trust I have to place in God each time my babies go out that no matter what happens I will have grace to deal with it.

(If you haven't read it - you should - go HERE)

And beyond that - it is not about the kids. My husband lost his job due to the economical climate about 8 years ago - maybe more now. That rocked my world too. That is when I started having to work and it was a dark time in my life. The security I felt in my controlled world was so messed up.

9/11 - was the first time I felt unsafe. Really unsafe. I remember dealing with that because my world got rocked and I could not FIX it. I can fix most things. As time goes by - I realize I cannot fix everything. And it is hard on me. Because I want to. Desperately.

So my prayer has become more along the lines of trusting God in all things. To BELIEVE that even the hard things I will be able to cope. I pray that I can be confident in this as things move forward. I pray that I will not spew my crazy all over the place when I am placed in a pressureful situation (yes I know pressureful is not a word- it should be). Even beyond that, that my faith will grow so that I do not have crazy to spew all over the place.

I am not as laid back as I once thought. I think that has been more about containing my worry and keeping it to myself - because I am indeed a control freak and my little world, which contains my husband, my babies - and my extended family and close friends, cannot be controlled. And the more I see it, the more I writhe against the inability to change some things.

But I cannot.

And with that - I have to lay that dern basket in the water. Again. And again. And Again.

Hebrews 2:13

And again, “I will put my trust in him.” And again, “Behold, I and the children God has given me.”

Can a 50 Year Old Wear a Bralette?

I posed this question to my 26 year old friend. She gave me that "uhhhh no" answer. I asked another young friend of mine about dyeing my hair blue...and she told me that I would do better with red. Something about me not being able to "rock it".

So ok. I understand there is a point where one should stop chasing trendy and kind of settle into a classic ageless look. Which just KILLS me.

I wear Converse. Always have...and I probably always will.

I have pondered my how old is to old question now for just about everything. And I must tell you that I am still in a quandary about it. I feel I should be able to wear a bralette in a way that is in good taste. I think I can rock it...and the blue hair quite frankly.

I am kind of tired of questioning what I should and shouldn't wear. I have bangs. I have my whole life. Do I really have to get rid of them? I think they may be too young for me, but I cannot imagine myself without them. But I have seen older women that wear their hair in styles that look too young for them and clothes that look too young for them. I don't want to be that person.

So - should I listen to my sweet young friends and avoid the bralettes and blue hair? How do I balance my love of some things and my desire to be balanced and realistic in my choices now that I have hit the half century mark?

I would love someone to shed a little light on this subject.

Naughty or Nice

So I have been on a Hallmark Channel binge on the few hours I have at home these days. While I am cooking dinner after 11 hour days at the high school and then the elementary school, I turn on Hallmark Channel and watch the most wonderfully cheesy movies I have ever seen. They are sweet and idealistic and totally unlike life.

I love them because they are like Elvis movies: wonderfully predictable. They start our sweet have a bit of trouble and the girl always ends up with the guy who is handsome and sweet and impossibly perfect. And  they manage to throw in a life lesson that is meant to teach us to be better.

I eat them up.

There is one called Naughty or Nice. It is about a woman who loses her job and becomes a bit bitter after having to take a gift wrapping job at a local department store. Her name is Crissy Cringle. She hates her name. Well - because of her name and because she lives on Candy Cane Lane she receives a book from someone that is called Naughty or Nice. She finds this book gives her the dirt on all the people around her. She is so unhappy in her current circumstances that she is in that she willingly looks up the dirt on her neighbor, then two girls at the coffee shop and eventually on her boyfriend. She uses the information against them to revenge herself and eventually to find out why her boyfriend is so busy - without her. She gets herself into all kinds of scrapes because of it. She knows that she is doing wrong but her bitterness causes her to use it without remorse until it bites her in the butt.

She sicks the book on her boyfriend and construes the information as he is cheating on her. He is so not. She confronts him and he is hurt and drops her like a hot potato.

She turns the corner, realizes that she is so wrong and sets out to fix it. She realizes that all people have naughty sides. Everyone has something that will put them on Santa's naughty list. But she also finds that people have nice sides as well.

What I LOVE about this is that I see it in myself. You cannot look at someone and see just their naughty side without also looking for their nice side. Not unless you are willing to see your own crap without tempering it with the good stuff. People rarely are bad without having a good side.

So - my point here is - I encourage you, when confronted with the nasty, to look for the nice before tearing into them. It is so easy when life is beating us up, to see just the yuck in people. Please look for the good as well....it is there...just not always apparent to us.

Make sure you practice seeing the good in people. Regardless of how inherently bad we are (because all of us know we are not perfect) we can learn to see the best in others. It will cause OURSELVES to be happier. In doing so, my prayer is, we actually learn to look for the good automatically and that it will in turn cause us to be a little easier on ourselves. 

God bless and keep you this Christmas Season.

I pray you find perspective and peace in the midst of all of the hubbub!

Fast and Furious - Slow and Easy...

I think part of my problem is when things go fast I spend all my energies on keeping up and tend to fail in important areas. I skimp on my T.A.W.G. (Time alone with God) and I don't eat well. I just do better when I slow down. 

The thing I have learned over the last month is that I do have to manage

my time well when I am cooking Paleo. But I have enjoyed the process of thoughtful eating. I love the chopping and creative replacement that eating Paleo brings. It is a slower and a nice reflective

time for me as I gather the ingredients and chop the vegetables. I know this is hard when you have little ones. Impossible even.  

I read a book by Claire Cloninger over 20 years ago called, A Place Called Simplicity. It was something I longed for even then. Living simply. It is actually something you have to work at. It is a wonderfully inspiring read. 

And the fact is there are seasons of simplicity. One of those seasons for me was when the boys were babies...I said no a lot - just because it was harder to do things with two babies. But it slowed time down and my memories are of a unhurried and wonderfully simple time enjoying those baby boys. 

There are things you have to learn to say no to in order to simplify. And "no" is a hard thing for a people pleaser. But it gets easier the more you do it. I think coming to a place where you realize you can't do everything is a good starting place. Realizing you can't please everyone is the next step. Understanding that folks are more gracious than we give them credit for also makes the process of simplifying easier. Dumping the guilt of choosing carefully and denying help at school, at church, or wherever is also a must. 

I am not saying drop out of life. Help where you are led but don't be afraid to step back when your dance card is full. And of course there are seasons where no matter how intentional you are you are meeting yourself coming and going. That happens. Can't always be controlled. But it is also why you want to be nutritionally sound and grounded in the Word And prayer. 

Regardless of how you choose to live, fast and furious or slow and easy, you must see to your spiritual, mental and physical health to be the best you can be. 

God bless and keep you on your journey. 

The Dreamer and The Doer

I have a lot more of the dreamer in me. I have these amazing ideas and they always are just there...right before me ever out of reach. I go for them every once in a while but for whatever reason life gets in the way.

That is my fault.

It shouldn't happen that way. I posted this on Facebook 6 years ago:

Pajama Mama is my website. It is a beginning place for so many of my desires. My desire to serve the Lord, to be with my children at home and to help my community and other women like me who just need to find a way to supplement their income so they can do what they love best - take care of their family!

And I never really got anywhere with it.

But over the last few months I have felt a definite prodding to move forward. But I always had an excuse. My excuses ran the gamut: I don't have time, I don't feel good, I am too busy doing for everyone else, I don't have the money. And I allowed myself to become bogged down in the I don'ts and I can'ts and foundered.

I have started almost every January saying the same thing. I have an idea. I am going to see it through. This year I will see God bless this.

But I did not follow through. My faith was weak. And I would lose sight of my dream before the year was halfway through.

This year some interesting things happened.

My two year renewal of Pajamamama.net came around again and they renewed it with some added benefits that they didn't have before. So...I got that without really trying! Ha!

And I had a friend I had previously done contract work with at Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Alabama invite me to try something that I was somewhat skeptical about. I am a HORRIBLE sales person. She will tell you that I am not. But - I am. I do not like pressuring people. And even when I am not pressuring people, I feel like I am pressuring people. BUT - the thing is, if I want to be healthy, and I want my family to be healthy, then I am going to live it out. If I care about others - it is much like my faith - I am going to share it. Some way. Some how. It will overflow from the excess of my living it out.

IT WILL OVERFLOW FROM THE EXCESS OF MY LIVING IT OUT.

So...I share my faith. I share how I live. Not to pressure anyone. But to encourage other's who are like me and struggle on a daily basis to live out their convictions. Whatever they may be.

For me, it is to serve God first. To take care of my family and to serve others well. This can only be accomplished when I take care of myself. And I am not talking about excessive pampering. I am talking about reading God's word, praying - talking to God and eating right - exercising. These are the things that help me serve God, family and others best. This will only help my job at school and give me the energy to create and do when I get home.

And I have stepped out further than I ever have before. I have been eating paleo for a month now. I have been exercising daily and I have more energy and my attitude has absolutely changed. I thought I would never quit drinking my Cokes...but I have. It's amazing. I don't even crave it.

Now that is not so much from drinking anything or being on any particular diet, Of course ultimately it is that...but for those who are like me (not very self motivated), it takes more than that. It had more to do with someone who held out a helping hand and encouraged me. Even when I looked past her helping hand, she would stay in touch and ask me how I was doing. Accountability - haven't I talked about that before? Well...it is a good thing. A must for changing one's lifestyle.

I have been using BeachBody products for years, but they never did me any good until I had the accountability. So I now am a BeachBody coach. I love the shakes and I have been dancing. Anyone who knows me well knows I love to dance, So Shaun T has been taking me through the moves every morning with CIZE and it starts my day with a smile. I think you should do what you love. I don't love to exercise...I do love to dance. It really doesn't feel like exercise at all.

But the eating right and moving more is working. My goal now is to encourage other's to do the same thing. I want to help them act on their dreams too.

I think you should do the thing that works. I have tried other things and they did not work for me. What I love about Shakeology is the fact that it combines one meal...with my probiotics, and vitamins. It is a dense nutritional shake.  A yummy one at that. I didn't get this with the other things I tried. It is a much more affordable option to nutrition and weight loss.

I hope you will check in with me every once in a while. This blog will not be all about BeachBody. But I will share occasionally how that is going.

God Bless and Keep YOU ALL!

It could be one of my posts...

Jen Hatmaker

Yesterday at 3:42pm · 

Three different schools.
Five kids.
Online registrations.
Sports physicals.
Well checks.
Immunizations.
Insurance forms.
Insurance haggling.
PE uniforms.
Schedule pick-up (3 different days).
High school parking permit.
School supplies.
Eye exams.
Haircuts.
Closet clean out.
School IDs.
Online lunch accounts.
Orthodontist appointments.
Backpacks.
Tennis shoes.
Lunchboxes.
Middle School Round-Up Day.
Meet the Teacher.
Back to School Night.
Dermatologist appointments.
Football equipment pick up.
Schedule changes.
Parking fees.
Dual credit registration.

God: "Jen, now that you have died, what have you done to deserve entry into heaven?"
Jen: "Lord, I engineered back-to-school for five children from 2003-2023. Twenty years, Father. The forms alone deserve eternity."
God: "Enter into your rest."

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It's not that I want to belittle what we do...
but some of this stuff is more about us, It's not that we don't have to do this stuff...I mean. Some of it is important - not all of it - but still, should the glory be ours?

There should be a little something in our head that tells us, "Isn't the fact I am doing all of this and posting about it reflect on my own need for approval?"

God is not interested in all of our extra curricular activities unless we are serving those we meet at those places. And I will be the first to tell you that I have sought a pat on the back by the myriads of folk on my friends list...but that doesn't make it ok. That doesn't condemn me to hell either.

Sometimes I just think we should re-think our social media tendencies and why we post what we post. I sometimes think that we should avoid it like the plague...it is just one more thing that can make or break our day. It can cause us to think too highly of ourselves or fail in our confidence.

I wish that we had something that would allow us to review our day and show us where we stand with our Savior, give us confirmation of our standing with our Heavenly Father and give us rest from a job well done for the Glory of His name....

Wait a second...

We do.

The World is the Same

She wanted the baby. 

When murder is a double homicide because the mom was 

pregnant, the baby is considered another life because the 

mom wanted that baby. 

The baby's rights are done away with 

when it comes to the mother's desires. 

Our society is a selfish one. frown emoticon       We are no longer willing to take responsibility for our actions. We are either victims or we rationalize that which would release us from our bonds. The makeup of man is certainly the same as it has always been...but we have lost our moral compass that causes us to hitch up our britches and make our mistakes mean something. 

The World has always contained people that do bad things. It seems the problem with us today is we have decided that our problems are not our fault. And even if we acknowledge that the problems are our fault we do not think we should have to suffer the consequences. The results are we have become a characterless people. Lives have lost value and our own lives suffer because of it. 

For those of us who believe in a Savior, we have an understanding that our sin has consequences and that we will suffer for that sin. But the Gospel gives us freedom, not from the consequences here on Earth, but for the guilt that would continue to plague us here and in the life to come. 

Sin can have hard and serious consequences. It can seemingly ruin a life. But - in my opinion, when we deal with the consequences of our sin well, we become better. We add depth, and mercy, and a solidity to our character that makes us better. Better for ourselves and for others. Acknowledging our downfall and seeking forgiveness from others we have wronged and from God is not weakness. It is strength building...it is spiritual weightlifting. It will grow us and make us better. 

It seems to me that when we accept our situation and our part in it, we can then do something about it.

Of course I am making generalizations. There are many who accept and deal well with the things that happen to them...whether they were at fault or not. But what we are seeing in the media is a tendency to shirk our own responsibility for our circumstances. And we are becoming a selfish, spoiled people because of it. 

We can be so much more than we are aspiring to be. And it will be the end of society as we have known it. 

Be warned.