Oh so it's going to be THAT kind of day....

I woke up this morning with thoughts bumping and shoving through my head like people in New York during rush hour. Seriously disturbing. I laid there and tried to get them to line up better and decided to check weather to be prepared. Rain. I dragged my behind out of the bed and immediately heard the cat meowing in the bathroom. Yes I keep him in the bathroom at night because he is defective. He doesn't always use the kitty litter. He tends to be a bit lazy in the toileting department....much like most of the men in this household. I say most because my husband (and my dog) is meticulous. Thank you Lord. My other three boys - now four....not so much.

Anyway - I find my slippers and have my "ah" moment. They are new so they are still soft and fuzzy inside and still have the cushion in the sole. So when I put my feet in - it is a glorious thing. You have to be thankful for the little things, right?

I shuffled into the bathroom to take care of my business while the cat jumped on my lap and kept trying to butt my mouth with his head. I finish and dump him out of my lap and wash my hands wondering what I will wear. I trip over the cat while walking out of the bathroom into the dark bedroom because I don't want to wake my husband - too late - bless him. He heard all of the meowing and my fussing in the bathroom. "You okay?", he asks. "We'll see", I replied

Shuffled down the hall. Let the dog outside while tripping again on the cat and moved quickly to feed him so he will get out from under my feet.

I need coffee.

This is not something I usually feel. I can do without coffee. As long as I have caffeine in some form during the day...but this morning...yeah.

So I get the canister and it is empty. Ugh.

But I bought more on Tuesday - once again - a yippee moment.

I open the package and proceed to pour the coffee into the canister. Sniff. Glorious.

Where is the scoop?

Did I seriously just dump all of the coffee into the canister with the scoop on the bottom?

I asked myself that question out loud. To no one in particular.

And I plunged my hand (it was clean) into the canister and pushed down to the bottom and yes.,,yes I did....

I now have the scoop....and coffee grounds all over the counter.

But - it gave me my cup of coffee.

I shall not make these first moments of the day frame the rest of the day.

I shall not.

The Struggle

I know. We all want to brag about our kids and how brilliant they are; about how good we are at this, that or the other. Facebook and blogging are our new "shout it from the rooftops" about how good we are at this life. How happy we all are. Or even to let others know we need sympathy. I do it - all of the time.

I have been convicted constantly lately. Every time I go to post on FB about anything I am busting at the seems about, I stop. Why?

It is putting a deposit into the bank of me. Which is already a monster and doesn't really need feeding. I am about as conceited and self centered as I can possibly get. My fight for discipline and truly "considering others better than myself" (Phil. 2:³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,) is not helped at all by this phenomenon of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

I do brag. I do want to tell you how precious, and smart and beautiful my boys and husband are. But really - all you would have to do is meet them to know that. No need for me to tell you. God has been gracious to me. For really - anything good in me or them - is totally of him. I can take no credit.

The fact is - that what makes my family special to me, is - they are mine. What I am trying to instill into them is their worth does not come from other's perception of them - or even what I think of them, or what we can do, or how well we do it.  It comes from God.  James 1:17 - Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

This life and everything good I have in it - is from God. So when I brag - it should be about God. And how good he is. Even in the midst of hard times - I am blessed abundantly above anything I could expect - or should expect.

So this is the struggle. The one Paul talks about.

 Romans 4:²⁶ Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. ²⁷ No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

I fight my nature every day. My desire to let others know "I got this" is wrong. My desire should be to point to the Christ who loves them. To love them so they can see he loves them.

Of course I screw up. I am no saint to be sure. Farrrrr from it.  I cling to the fact that God is merciful. And can make something out of the messes I make. Wonderful thing, grace.

But I will continue to do my best to see the good that God has done and to brag about him and his goodness - and I will do my best to stay out of the way.

I ain't sayin' it'll be easy.