The Way You Make Me Feel....

This morning started off a little rocky. I had to make one of the boys do something they did not want to. He needed a book off of the supply cart at school and did not want to get it. He felt "stupid". He was unsure about how to go about it and really just dug in. I told him he had to do it. He was very unhappy.

I hate for my babies to be unhappy - but this is real life.

In my desire for him to understand why he had to do it in spite of his not wanting to, I went into some detail. I asked him why he felt stupid. He explained that some older kids made some snide comments about 6th graders and their newby-ness. It was not to him, but it was to someone else in the past. It could have been their first day as far as I know. But it stuck in his head and now it has influenced him to want to look like he was an old pro at everything he put his hand to. How unrealistic.

I do the same thing though...and I am 45 years old. Ridiculous isn't it? So it's hard to be annoyed at an 11 year old when I do the same thing. I told him that the 7th and 8th graders at school had their first time at everything there at the school. They are also unsure and will begin the same insecure process when they get to highschool next year. They are no better than him. They will have to learn and make some public mistakes just like he will. It doesn't end when  you get out of highschool either. I still make newby mistakes. It's just a part of life.

I explained to him that what would make him different from others is how he reacted to a hard situation. Lashing out to make others feel badly is not a good way to make yourself feel better. Most reasonable people get that if you don't know how to do something - you ask. When you see someone else who doesn't know something - you don't use it to build yourself up by making a crack at them...you encourage and help them.
I want my boys to learn that life is not about them. It is about God. Their identity does not come from how accomplished they are. Not how smart, not how good they are at something. Their identity comes from being a child of God.

1 Corinthians 8

1 Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that “We all possess knowledge.” But knowledge puffs up while love builds up. 2 Those who think they know something do not yet know as they ought to know. 3 But whoever loves God is known by God.
 
Here Paul is teaching that knowledge is not always a good thing. It can cause someone to think they are better than they really are. Whereas - love is what defines us as children of God. We love God and he knows us as his own. This love will overflow to others.
 
Luke 10:27
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ ; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ”

John 13:
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
 
Romans 15:
13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.


God wants us to deny the things of the world. What the world understands as accomplishment, riches, love - is not God's understanding. His love will cause others to stumble when they rely on their own understanding. They must see with spiritual eyes that God is God. He cannot be boxed, he cannot be packaged. He cannot be made to bend to our will or our desires.

1 Peter 2:7-9
7 Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe,
“The stone the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone,
8 and, “A stone that causes people to stumble
and a rock that makes them fall.”
They stumble because they disobey the message—which is also what they were destined for.
9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

When understanding comes to us, it is not because we are brilliant. It is not because we have knowledge of our own. It is because God has given it to us.

I am about as dense as they come. I am stubborn and continue to try to push these truths away. I want to live the way I want to. A + B must always equal C. But this is not how it really is. I have a great hope and that hope is that God allows me moments of clarity - where I finally get it. And these moments carry me for days - sometimes weeks until I get another shot. I just keep hoping for those moments as I need them. But I have found I must seek them.

All of this to say - winding it all back to the premise that loving others well, is not meant to make us feel good. The focus is on God - he causes us to be selfless so that we can encourage others. If we are not so focused on how we appear to others, then it is not difficult to be more concerned with loving others better than ourselves. We can become quite foolish in our endeavors and it means nothing. Because we love God first, he knows it. That is all that matters.

This is very freeing. It simplifies everything and brings my focus in. God knows I need that.

I pray that God helps me remember this, and to instill it in my boys.