How to do it....how to do it.....

So the last several days...since the New Year got here...I have been trying to figure how to go about making things right. What steps to take to make sure that I accomplish my goals, the family needs and what is right before the Lord.

I wrestle mightily with the ol' New Year's resolutions. I have never kept them past 2 weeks. It is a practice in futility setting them up. I have always had resevoirs of cockeyed optimism. I really, really like the whole ridiculously positive part of me. Sure - it makes for a lot of disappointment - but as a whole it is what keeps me going. That's a gift from God to be sure. So - I guess what I need to find is a way to balance that ridiculously cattywompous skew of my vision to be a wee bit more realistic. 

So my goal of the past few days has been to pray for a new vision. I want it quickly and I want it to fall into place and start working immediately. This is not so new...once again - not so realistic of me. Whatever vision God gives, I need to understand that his timing is not mine. I need to remember what God's word says:

Galatians 6:8-10
8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

So my first guide is to sow seeds that will please God. And to not give up on the harvest that will come from it.

Alright.

So the next scripture that comes to mind is:
Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

So clearly - my guidelines for this year are fairly simple.

Whatever I do - do it in such a way that I am always mindful that God will be glorified through it.

Given my selfish nature this will probably be much more difficult than it sounds. But in light of this, I will move forward.

How will I do this? I will need to daily - probably minute by minute train myself to ask - who am I doing this for? I am sure many times I will throw up the blinders and rationalize my decisions....but I am praying that the Holy Spirit will make me strong in my decisions.

Things that must happen:

• Additional income. I need to help with our income. Not just for now but for the boys and college. This is my first goal. I just left a job that kept me from serving my family well. I need to find one that will leave me able to happily take care of them in the evenings and on Saturdays.

Things I want to happen:

• Have enough resources to serve others well. Not just to cover our own costs.
• Volunteer - not just at the school, but something like tutoring those in need. That requires time.
• Incorporate my loves in whatever I do. People, music, writing, creativity...I want these to be a part of how I live. Not a desire I am constantly putting on a shelf because of my "real" job.

Some of the things that will need to happen in order for me to have the energy to accomplish the above is going to require me to deny myself, to ignore the "foodie" within and eat right. To get over the "you deserve this" thingy that is always being whispered in my ear. I deserve nothing...less than nothing. Finding my joy and my contentment in the fact that God has blessed me with more is going to serve me better than my indulgence of my hedonistic tendencies. I must deny myself.

Luke 9:23
Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.


Now I question whether these things will give glory to God. I absolutely believe that my vision will easily give glory to God. But that is also dependent upon my dependence on my heavenly Father. These desires are from my heart - and it is a heart that longs to serve well on many fronts. So my prayer becomes - "Lord let it be so".

My goal is to ask myself constantly - "will this glorify God"?

Maybe this will be the year I actually do something great for God. Something that only he can accomplish through me. I long for it. I'll let you know how it goes...