Handing it over - again....

I woke up heavy hearted and feeling weighted. Some of that probably is I have a humongous cold that is wreaking havoc on my Christmas season. Some of it is just the cares of everyday life that I have managed to grab hold of in my usual control freak way. And quite honestly the emotion I have experienced this morning is anger. I am mad. Mad about so many things. Mad at this cold. Mad that my house is a mess. Mad that I have so much to do and don't feel like doing them. Mad that I can't seem to control the chaos which is my life. That's a lot to be mad at isn't it?

I was thinking of people that encouraged me (see above link). People who have experienced so much pain and loss that the only way they could move forward is the grace of God who has given them strength. And I relented in my anger. It deflated. I don't want to be angry. I want to be in the middle of God's will doing what he has called me to do for the moment. I want to be faithful where I am right now. That means doing my best to get well...not to give in to hopelessness and let this thing dig in and make me feel worse. You might wonder what in the world that means. But I have the tendency to lose hope very quickly at times and become enmired in whatever I'm struggling with - I think I usually call it "wallering" in my problems - kind of like a pig wallers in the mud. This will not do.

So -

2 Thessalonians 2:15-17
15 So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.
16 May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17 encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word

2Peter 1:3-9

3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

Attitude is everything. It is so easy to become confused and overwhelmed by our lives. There is so much required of us at any given time it seems. And yet, a lot of it, is our own doing. To allow myself to be dragged down by my own expectations of what is important is just wrong...and it can lead to a depression of sorts.

I do believe that life is a series of battles over our mind and the conflicts within it. How can we succeed and overcome if we are not well equipped with God's Word?

Ephesians 6:13-18

13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

I am sure that I will find the strength and ability to do what I need to. I just have to keep my eyes on Christ and not on the things of this world. Remembering what is priority which is not what I think is priority. It is not that my house is clean and in order and decorated for Christmas. It is not that I get my Christmas Cards out in time, or even all the presents bought and given.

My priorities are spending time in the presence of Christ moment by moment, allowing him to dictate what is important...sitting with my baby and reading, ironing shirts for my husband, making sure my boys are prepared for school....Each day is a spiritual hitching up of the britches and girding myself with the armour of God and fighting the good fight. I pray that my eyes are clear to what I should be doing each moment and that I am satisfied with the result. Lord keep my eyes on you and help me be content, help me hand it all back over when I want to hold it tightly.