This morning I got up and washed my face with my favorite mix of essential oils, then started plucking the hairs that grow in all the wrong places, threw my hair up into an artfully messy bun on top of my head, put in my silver loop earrings, and then applied some light makeup just to make it look like I give a crap. I'm not even going anywhere - thank you very much. Your welcome - for my efforts. ;) Obviously I do care - at least right now. I have moments in time where I don't.
But as I was plucking all those hairs, I started thinking about why. As I looked into those baggy eyes that always surprise me when I look close (because I still think I look 25 - sadly not true), I realize that the outside really doesn't matter. It does initially - for about an hour.
Here's the thing:
I see people and I love their look. They are beautiful, or there is something arresting about their faces and how they move. But quite honestly - that's all it lasts is about an hour for some of them. Once you get to talking to them and get to know them they may not seem so pretty. The ugly people, amazingly can become quite attractive and the beautiful ones become quite unattractive - depending on what's inside. Thus the proverb - you can't judge a book by its cover.
So, you never know what is going to attract you to another person as a friend or romantically. Which is why hanging with a person not your spouse can be problematic. Once we start sharing ideas and our witticisms outside of our couple friendships - things can get a little dicey. Of course you can be friends with a person. But that one on one time - if you allow that to happen - can be a dangerous game.
The first time I realized this was when I went to the beach once - I tell my boys this as a cautionary tale - with this Cary Grant looking hunk of a man. The sky was blue and the waves were turquoise, the sand warm and just delicious under my feet. When I looked at him, an involuntary sigh would leave my body. By the end of the day, I was bored stupid. STUPID. Was he nice? So nice. So kind. So gentlemanly. But he wasn't as handsome to me. He was absolutely resistable. He was going to make some woman incredibly lucky. I needed sharp wit. Cutting and clever. I realized the outside really didn't matter. The inside does. And I was really disappointed - because I really thought he was so pretty. But he married a beautiful, kind, girl who suited him to a T. Love it. And quite honestly - I didn't ring his bell either. He never asked me to go out again - so - it goes both ways.
I have seen goofy looking guys become hot in a day because of how funny and sharp they were.
This is a mighty leveler of the playing field. Thank the Lord.
But - how good is God that he made us so that our minds are the things that will be the glue that keeps us near and dear to the one we choose as our mate? Because all the nose hair removal in the world will not make me more attractive when I get older. And of course there are extenuating circumstances. Things happen as we grow older that we have to fight against. Marriages don't always last and someone can be left hurting - but that's a whole other thing. I am thankful for a spouse that sees duty as important as laughing. Duty is boring BUT HUGELY IMPORTANT - but the laughter makes it lovely.
Just me thinking.